Furball Frankie

I likes to sniff things. It's part of my job - to make sure things are in order in our home. Today I was particularly busy. I sniffed chairs. I sniffed cupboards. I sniffed the table. I jumped up and sniffed bits of the kitchen. I sniffed my hooman. But something was particularly whiffy - I could smell it from a distance. I went into our napping quarters. The smell got stronger. I located the smell. It was a pair of my hooman's trowsers. I don't mind them smelling of my hooman, but these have been hanging around a while. They're too stinky - too strong for my little catty nose. I meowed my concerns to my hooman. He just said 'You're so cute!'...and stroked my head. I meowed my concerns again. He booped my nose. Idiot.

It's been a hard day. After an initial flomp onto the bed, I had some thinks. I sat and thinked. I thinked about other cats. I thinked about chicken. I thinked about my hooman. I thinked about naps. I thinked about biscuits. I thinked about ear scritches. I thinked about belly rubs. I thinked about squirrels. I thinked about birds. I thinked what I should rub my face on next. It was exhausting. I had a sleepy. I napped.

My hooman is messy. There is lots of stuff everywhere in our home. Stuff on the table, stuff on the chairs, stuff on our bed, stuff on the walls...stuff wherever there's space to put stuff. And he trails wires everywhere. They go into plugs. There's one long plug in the big main room. I forget what they all do. One is for the whirring machine that takes water out of the air. One goes into his compooter. One goes into the big, scary, whirring, sucking machine. One is for a thing that beeps a lot. Why does my hooman need so many wires? What is he hoping to achieve? Strange creature.    

I was having a slow walk around before, from room to room. I stopped a few times to have sniffs. I meowed at my hooman for a head scritch. Then I heard something. Noises by the front door. Hoomans. Lots of talking. Things jangling. I was on high alert. I jumped up onto something higher. I can hear better this way. My little catty ears went forwards. My whiskers twitched. Lots of hooman noises. Were they coming into my home? I listened...and listened...and listened. Then there were no more hooman noises. I stayed higher up and washed my feets.

I has a sleepy. I has a comfy. I has a cosy. I has a content. It is therefore my hooman's duty to make me even more comfy, cosy, and content. I has decided to assist him with this. When he comes into our napping quarters, where I has flomped down, I roll so that my belly is facing up. I also tucks my fluffy feets in. This gives my hooman maximum access to my belly. It also makes me look cute. So far he has responded well, giving very good, and very soft, belly rubs. He does get carried away though. He screams 'You're so cute!' Then he sticks his face in my belly fluff and blows raspberries. I don't want him to do this, so I gives him light bunny kicks. Belly rubs = good. Raspberries = not so good. I shall keep my feets tucked in for now.

It's my duty to inspect things for my hooman; his food, his furniture, his shopping, his cupboards, his general tidiness (lacking), his smell...and his clothes. It's in his best interests. I'm looking out for him. I noticed his clothes cupboard slightly open before. I don't like closed doors. I meowed at it. Hooman said; 'Really? It's not that interesting, Frankie' I meowed again. And again. And again. He huffed; 'Okay then - go in if you really want to' I went into the clothes cupboard. It smelt a bit musty. I looked up at the clothes. Pinks, blues, bright yellow, a lot of black, some grey. Not great. I lifted my head and had sniffs. It all lacked catty scent. Also not great. I pawed at the clothes. My claws got stuck. I meowed for my hooman's help. He took too long. We got my claws free. I decided. I don't like the clothes in that cupboard. My hooman can do better. I have meowed my notes to him on this matter. I hope he listens to my advice...