Furball Frankie

My hooman came home with a big plastic bag and said 'Look, Frankie - fresh sheets!' I wasn't sure what this was but it wasn't ham, as I sniffed it. He took it up to our napping quarters. I stuck my head in the bag and hooman said 'Not yet, Frankie'. He pulled out some rectangular sheets and stuffed things into them. I carried on sniffing inside the bag. There was a bigger sheet, so I pawed at it. 'Yes, that's next', said hooman. He flapped this sheet a lot and made huffing and puffing sounds. Then he got a bigger, heavier sheet and stuck in on the floor. I sat on it. 'That's not helpful', said hooman. He lifted me off and I yowled in protest. He then started stuffing a giant puffy thing into this heavier sheet, then shaking it out. Then he lay it down on the bed, said 'done', and lay on top of it. I joined him, for ear scritches.

Hooman has really lost the plot this time. I've no idea what he's doing. He keeps throwing these weird, coloured springy things in front of me, then saying 'go on, Frankie!' I assume I'm supposed to do something with them. But what? The thing seems devoid of life. It doesn't move on its own. It doesn't fly or run. It just sits there. If it moved like the red dot does then maybe I'd be interested, but 'Nah, not for me'.    

Hooman didn't make anything in the food room tonight. Hooman ordered something on the compooter. Food came. I circled hooman's feet. He opened the box. I jumped up onto the table. I had sniffs. Eugh! It smelt cheesy. No chicken. No prawns. Rubbish. I walked away. Why does he get this stuff? He's a noisy eater too.    

It has been a day of flomps. Remarkable flomps. I has flomped in the kitchen, but the wooden bench is a bit hard. I has flomped on the armchair, but it's a bit too squishy. I has flomped on my hooman's bed - I have to admit, that's quite comfy. I flomped on one of the stairs, but it's not really big enough for my fluffiness. So, I has found a new favourite flomping spot for today - the squishy (but less squishy than the armchair) red chair. I shall flomp here for a while. Then I have other important cat business to attend to.

Hmmm...things are getting stranger and stranger about my new place. It doesn't have the floor of the last place. It's hard. I can't flomp onto it. I tried sitting on it, but I got a cold bum. I tried resting on it, but it's a bit hard. It's quite good for plodding on, but it's not quite up to my standard. I hope the floor strandrard improves. It certianly needs some rugs.

There has been many new and exciting things about exploring my new home. The carpet is very scratchable...and it feels so good to roll around on. I have 4 beds to choose from, for maximum flomps. But I has discovered new skills. I has discovered catrobatics. I is a master of balance. I can walk back and forth on this wooden beam, meowing to my hooman if I get stuck. Then I can sit on the plinth at the end, like a giant lion. I wonder what's next for me? A medal? A statue? An honorary degree? I'm such a talented cat.