Furball Frankie

It happens a lot - I'm peacefully napping and then I hear my hooman's heavy footsteps. I know he's coming to annoy me. He can't help it. What's he going to do though? Will he shout 'Frankiiiiiiiiiiie' and bury his face in my belly fur? Will he say 'ooojshi booojshi' and kiss me on the head? Will he boop my nose? Will he ruffle my belly fur with his hands? Will he annoyingly touch my back feets? Will he smoosh my face? I decided he was going to boop my nose, so looked to protect it. Mad hooman.  

I has been very busy. I has had a good wash. I washed my front feets. I washed my chest. I lay on the floor and washed my belly. I turned my head to the side and washed my back. I did my back feets twice, for good measure. I was all done. I was really pleased with my work. My fur was all shiny. Then my hooman ran into the room, said 'Frankiiiiiiiiiie!' in a silly, high-pitched voice, and rubbed my belly and back fur. Now I have to start all over again. Idiot.

Being a kitty is often about strategy. We has to know when to meow, when to purr, where to sit. I has found a good position today. It's hot, so I needs to cool down. But I also wants fuss. What to do? Perfect solution... Flomp down onto the cooling floor, and... Roll over to expose my belly. A little, squeaky meow, then maximum belly rubs from my hooman. The ideal spot.  

Some days are tough. Some days you just want to block out the world. Some days are for back-to-back naps. Some days all the belly rubs in the world won't do. Some days all the snacks available won't be enough. Some days your fur won't be clean no matter how many licks you give it. Some days you have to give in. Some days you have to say; 'No fanks - not today'. Today is one of those days.

There is many important parts to a cat. My eyes, triangle ears, feets, belly, and tail is all important. But possibly my most importantest part is my sensitive little catty nose. It tells me whether things are good or not - whether there's danger or foods. This is why everything that comes into my home must pass the sniff test. If it's bags, they'll get sniffed. If it's a box, it'll get sniffed. If it's foods, it'll definitely get sniffed. If it's clothes, it'll get sniffed. I has to be sure that it's safe or good before it's allowed in my home. Even my hooman gets sniffed. If he's been around other cats I walk away and show him my bum. Sniffing is an essential part of life for all kitties.

Kitties - let's admit it; it's hard to train our hoomans. Very often they don't understand the most basic of commands. How hard is it to recognise 'I has a hungry' or 'These sheets don't smell right'? But with patience, it is possible to get results. He's not quite fully there, but I'm getting my hooman to speak 'Meow'. He now understands the following: - 'More belly rubs, please - keep going' - 'I need snacks...now!' - 'My wee tray is in an unacceptable state' - 'Quick, follow me' - 'I'm napping - go away' Actually, he doesn't fully understand that last one; sometimes he still annoys me while I'm napping. It's been hard work though. I hope he continues to learn; it can only be good for both of us.