Furball Frankie

I knows it's in my home. I can smell it. It's somewhere. My hooman can't hide it from me. He's got ham somewhere. I'm patiently waiting by my bowl. Meowing. Looking at him. Willing him to do the right thing. I'll keep looking at him. I'll keep meowing. I know he'll bring it to me eventually. It's just a case of waiting.          

Sigh...sometimes I think me and my hooman speak another language. If I come up to him, meowing, I wants attention or food - usually both. It's his job to then provide that attention. But the right sort of attention. I do not want him to say 'Look at that fluffy little face!' then grab it with both hands. I do not want him to smoosh my cheeks. I do not want him to confuse me and make me do catty head shakes. I do not want him to boop me on the nose. I just want simple pats of the head, and maybe a stroke of my back and a tail scritch. Is that too much to ask?    

I has a hmmmmmnnnn.... I has ihhjiiokokk... There's socks on the window... I needs warms, because of hooman farming... I stsysiudoidjoij... Heheheheheheheh! Has anyone seen the hurple flurple durple? Where's the last biscuit tray dragon? Hooman — please get me extra usaisiuaoaspo... I loves catnip! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.    

I believe it's a special day. I believe it's 2 years since I adopted my hooman. I believe it's 2 years since I walked into his life and blessed him with my fluffy presence. I hope he realises just how lucky he is. I provides him with warmth, the chance to pet me, my fluffy belly, opportunities to feed me, the ability to clean up my poo, and full entertainment. I sniffs everything that comes into our home, offering full security. I check food for contaminants...but mainly just to see if it's tasty. I check the napping potential of various areas. I defend us both against the red dot. There is so much I do for my hooman — I don't think he realises. It was a very good day when I walked into his life.

I made a decision this morning. I thought long and hard about it . I decided to leave my nice warm cupboard for a bit and sit on the bed. Then I decided to lie down on the bed. This gave my hooman full access to all my fluffiness. It meant he could pet me as much as he pleased. This was my gift to him. I left the cupboard to allow him to do this. I hope he truly appreciates the great sacrifice I made.      

I had good sleep last night. I moved back onto the bed with my hooman. This is useful as he's made of warms. I also like to be within petting distance, so he can give me fuss. I settled between his legs, as this is comfy and gives maximum warms. He wriggled a bit during the night, which was annoying. But, in general, he behaved. The annoying thing is that he got up this morning, which meant my warms went. I was too sleepy to move though. I needed something to make me feel better, in the absence of my soft, squishy hooman. I gave him little squeaky meows, as I know he finds these cute. He had no choice but to sit and stroke my side, and give me belly rubs. Because of this, I has decided to forgive him for getting up. He's lucky I'm such a merciful kitty.