Furball Frankie

I was having a slow walk around before, from room to room. I stopped a few times to have sniffs. I meowed at my hooman for a head scritch. Then I heard something. Noises by the front door. Hoomans. Lots of talking. Things jangling. I was on high alert. I jumped up onto something higher. I can hear better this way. My little catty ears went forwards. My whiskers twitched. Lots of hooman noises. Were they coming into my home? I listened...and listened...and listened. Then there were no more hooman noises. I stayed higher up and washed my feets.

I has a sleepy. I has a comfy. I has a cosy. I has a content. It is therefore my hooman's duty to make me even more comfy, cosy, and content. I has decided to assist him with this. When he comes into our napping quarters, where I has flomped down, I roll so that my belly is facing up. I also tucks my fluffy feets in. This gives my hooman maximum access to my belly. It also makes me look cute. So far he has responded well, giving very good, and very soft, belly rubs. He does get carried away though. He screams 'You're so cute!' Then he sticks his face in my belly fluff and blows raspberries. I don't want him to do this, so I gives him light bunny kicks. Belly rubs = good. Raspberries = not so good. I shall keep my feets tucked in for now.

It's my duty to inspect things for my hooman; his food, his furniture, his shopping, his cupboards, his general tidiness (lacking), his smell...and his clothes. It's in his best interests. I'm looking out for him. I noticed his clothes cupboard slightly open before. I don't like closed doors. I meowed at it. Hooman said; 'Really? It's not that interesting, Frankie' I meowed again. And again. And again. He huffed; 'Okay then - go in if you really want to' I went into the clothes cupboard. It smelt a bit musty. I looked up at the clothes. Pinks, blues, bright yellow, a lot of black, some grey. Not great. I lifted my head and had sniffs. It all lacked catty scent. Also not great. I pawed at the clothes. My claws got stuck. I meowed for my hooman's help. He took too long. We got my claws free. I decided. I don't like the clothes in that cupboard. My hooman can do better. I have meowed my notes to him on this matter. I hope he listens to my advice...

When I has dinner, or breakfast, I likes minimal fuss. I just likes to get on with things; munch, munch, munch, full belly, and a lick of the chops. I don't like sudden noises or movements. This is a shame, as I was distracted at dinner. I was mid-eats, when I heard a noise outside. I think it was other hoomans chatting. This took me away from my munching. I stared at the window. Nothing happened. I could still hear voices. Then I spotted a small flapping thing, within the room. This distracted me further. Must pounce. I had to walk around the room three times, do a catty headshake, then return to my bowl. Difficult times.

My hooman came in before, with two bags. He shouted 'Frankiiiiiie! Shoppiiiiiiing!' The bags contained foods. I know this because I sniffed them. It's very important that I inspects all bags that come into my home. They contained hooman foods. And they contained catty foods. I meowed at my hooman. I wanted to see what catty foods he had. But he wouldn't show me properly. He just went into the foods room and started taking things out of the bags. He put most of those things in the big, tall, white thing. I lost interest. Then I heard a familiar crinkling sound. It's a sound that means 'snacks'. I like snacks. I meowed urgently at my hooman. I saw it in his hand. The orange bag. Dreamies. I rubbed myself all over his legs. He cannot hide Dreamies from me. He tried to move away. I walked in between his legs. He tripped. He sighed...and opened the packet. Success. I ate some Dreamies, then walked in front of him again.

I has many activities I likes to do. I is a kitty with varied interests. I likes naps, of course, and rubbing my face against things. But two of my favourite activities is blinking and yawning. These are very important. Yawning allows me to stretch my mouth muscles, ready for loud meows - particularly if I has a hungy. It also shows my pointy teeth, so anyone nearby knows that I is a vicious predator. Blinking helps me to deal with the effort of constantly having my eyes open. It also helps me to communicate with my hooman. As in 'Hello hooman, I quite like you - yes, you may pet my belly'. Blinking and yawning can be quite tiring though. They're vigorous exercises for me, so sometimes I needs a nap after lots of blinks and yawns.

I is a simple creature. I has one lot of feets covers. My fur. One colour. Black. No fuss. No drama. It keeps my feets warm. My hooman is a fusspot. He has many many many feets covers. He keeps them all on a rack. He has red ones, green ones, blue ones, white ones, black ones, brown ones. Some are long and skinny. Some are chunky. Why so many covers, just for feets? Aren't they uncomfortable on his paw pads? Hoomans are so confusing.

I has a happy. I has a super happy. It's that time of year. Sunbeams are at just the right height to hit my fluffy belly in the mornings. And they're just the right temperature - not too hot, but not so weak that they do nothing. This is the perfect time to flomp on the floor, next to my hooman...belly up, looking cute, doing slow blinks. I gets the warm sun on my belly fluff, plus I get extra belly rubs. Life is good.

I likes clean. I also likes mess. This is lucky, because my hooman is messy. Our napping quarters are full of just...stuff. Soft stuff, paper stuff, smelly stuff, clean stuff, solid stuff. My hooman leaves them all over the bed - scattered. This has its advantages though. It means different areas of the bed has different scents. This makes things interesting. It also means I has a choice whether to nap under or on top of things. And it means some areas of the bed are softer than others. Hooman is messy...but that's okay.

If you has a comfy spot, it's important to keep it. I has been in a comfy spot all night...and all day. I don't want to move. It's cosy. I might stay here forever. Occasionally I accept a belly rub. But mostly I keep my paws over my face, to block out the light. I has a comfy.

It's been a tough day. I has changed napping spots many times. Chairs. Windowsills. Sofa. Bed. Shelf. I don't think hoomans understand the energy required for this. But I has found my spot. I intend to stay here all day. I sniffed it, then...flomp! I like a good flomp. I has flomped down onto the bed and will not be moving. A productive use of time.

My hooman is around today when he isn't usually. Usually he's in his 'offis', for 'the werk'. But today he's home. Maybe it's one of those special hooman times. Maybe it's a hank boliday. This means my hooman is with me more. It means I get extra chin tickles and ear scritches. It means I get extra belly rubs. It means he keeps refilling my biscuits. It means my wee tray is cleaned more often. It means he comes over to me, puts his face to my head, and says 'Mwah!' lots and lots. Hmmmm...I likes him around, but he can be annoying. I hope he gets the balance right.