Furball Frankie

My hooman likes to give me pets - belly rubs, head strokes, back strokes, ear scritches, chin scritches. But, if I has one complaint, it's that he often does it with just one hand... yet he has two. If he uses both hands, I can get both belly rubs and chin scritches at the same time. Or I can get double ear scritches - heaven. He can even hold my little catty face in both hands, so I can rest my chin on him... but when he does this, he often does a 'Mwah!' on my head... not so good. He has been blessed with two hands though, so I think it's only right that he uses both of them to show me affection. One hand just isn't quite enough.

I has made it my duty to look after my hooman again today. This means staying close to him and helping out wherever I can. This afternoon, I decided to help out by checking whether gravity might affect certain items he was using. At first I checked the red pen, and... plop... it fell off the table. I checked the black pen, and... plop... it fell off the table. I checked the big, bright yellow thing (might've been another pen), and... plop... it fell off the table. I checked the little yellow pad, and... plop... it fell of the table. All in all, I think I checked nearly 10 items. Some of them I had to check for a second time, just to be sure. I'm glad I could be so useful to my hooman today.

I has sits. I has thinks. What should I do? Should I claw the soft chairs? Should I clean my back feets? Should I chat with my hooman? Should I bat a pen off the table? Should I demand a second dinner? Should I run to the other room for no reason? So many decisions to make. So little time. It's been a hard day.

I is a fussy cat. I has a very discerning palate. I knows what I do and don't like. And I has had a change of mind... or of taste. I liked the food my hooman kept putting out for me, for breakfast and dinner, up until a week ago. Then it suddenly tasted a bit yucky... so I stopped eating as much of it, or just licked a bit of the jelly off the top. My hooman tried to get me to eat more, by plonking me near my bowl, but I simply sniffed it and walked away. He's been trying to put it out for me for another week, hoping I'd change my mind, but, nope - I has a yuck. Then, today - excitement. I see that my hooman has finally noticed I has gone off my food, and has bought me a new type of food. I'm not sure if I'll like that either. I shall give it sniffs and give it licks, then let him know.

My hooman is an idiot. He does this thing which I think is called a 'cuddle'. This morning, he wasn't out of his napping quarters in time for my breakfast, so I went to see him, as I has a schedule to keep. I jumped up onto his napping platform, walked over to him, sat next to his head and meowed... then I pawed at his face. He opened his eyes and moved. I had a happy, as this meant breakfast should be on the way, so I started purring. He said 'You're so cute'... then paused and shouted 'Cuddle attack!' He grabbed me and squished me and started say 'Mwah!' I didn't like being squished, so I struggled, then yowled and ran off... then had to wait longer for my breakfast. My hooman has no sense of timekeeping. Then, later on, I was having a nap, minding my own business, when he came into the napping quarters and shouted 'Cuddles!' again. And yet again, he squished me. I meowed in protest, but he didn't listen. Idiot hooman. I is goin...

I likes it when my hooman gets home, having been away for a while. I gets to sniff his legs, then rub against them, so he smells of me. Then I jumps up to nudge his hand with my head. But my favourite thing of all is...face smooshes! I sits in front of my hooman, puts my face forward, he holds it in both hands, then... smoosh! Both fluffy cheeks gets rubbed, and I has a happy. I think I prefer face smooshes to chin scritches. But I don't like them quite as much as belly rubs - that would be silly.

I likes to eat when I has a hungry. Actually, I just likes to eat. But... I don't feel as comfortable eating when my hooman isn't nearby. I likes him to watch me eat, or I won't finish what's in my bowl. Better still, I likes him to stroke my back while I eat - then I finish the whole bowl, right down to the last bit of jelly. But if he's not around then I has a few licks and a few bites of what's in the bowl, then I look around for him... and if he's not there, then I wander off. And if I goes back to the bowl later, the food smells a bit funny. Then I has to have some biscuits, but they're not as nice. Eating is much better when I'm having a fuss made of me.