Furball Frankie

I watch my hooman do so many things that don't make sense. Take his 'cloves', for example - that he wears over his skin. So much effort. He takes them off. He puts them on. He puts them in a basket. He takes them out of a basket. He puts them in a spinning, whooshy thing. He takes them out of a spinny, whooshy thing. He hangs them all out for ages. He brings them back inside. He puts them away again. He puts them on. It goes on and on and on. Why not just grow fur? Surely it's easier and more convenient. He can grow it on his head and face, so why not the rest of him? I think he's just not putting enough effort in.

It happens a lot - I'm peacefully napping and then I hear my hooman's heavy footsteps. I know he's coming to annoy me. He can't help it. What's he going to do though? Will he shout 'Frankiiiiiiiiiiie' and bury his face in my belly fur? Will he say 'ooojshi booojshi' and kiss me on the head? Will he boop my nose? Will he ruffle my belly fur with his hands? Will he annoyingly touch my back feets? Will he smoosh my face? I decided he was going to boop my nose, so looked to protect it. Mad hooman.  

I has been very busy. I has had a good wash. I washed my front feets. I washed my chest. I lay on the floor and washed my belly. I turned my head to the side and washed my back. I did my back feets twice, for good measure. I was all done. I was really pleased with my work. My fur was all shiny. Then my hooman ran into the room, said 'Frankiiiiiiiiiie!' in a silly, high-pitched voice, and rubbed my belly and back fur. Now I have to start all over again. Idiot.

Being a kitty is often about strategy. We has to know when to meow, when to purr, where to sit. I has found a good position today. It's hot, so I needs to cool down. But I also wants fuss. What to do? Perfect solution... Flomp down onto the cooling floor, and... Roll over to expose my belly. A little, squeaky meow, then maximum belly rubs from my hooman. The ideal spot.