Kitty Gourmet

I is a distinguished kitty, with distinguished tastes and a distinguished palate.

I know classy food when I sniffs and licks it.

So I knew, this morning, that my hooman had changed my food.

It was different.
It was more meaty.
There was no jelly.
It was more of a pâté.

I had lots of sniffs.
I got hints of duck, overtones of ham, and a rich, hearty finish.

I licked it.
Not bad.

I licked it some more.
Pretty good, actually.

I finished it all.
Good choice, hooman.

I meowed at him for seconds.
He pointed at my bowl and said 'You've just had breakfast'.

Idiot.

 


 

 

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Helping hooman through the day

Image
Wherever possible, I like to help my hooman throughout the day. In fact, to help him with his 'werk', it's my job to: Look cute all day. Take naps. Leave my belly available for fluffy therapy. Purr. Blink. Wee in my tray, to give my hooman something to get up for. Talk to my hooman, to keep him company. Sit on top of things that he needs. By doing all of this, I'm offering my hooman my service. This is my sacrifice to him.        
Read more

Lots to say

Image
I has been wandering about with many things to say today. I has meowed in my hooman's napping quarters. I has meowed on one window sill. I has meowed on the other window sill. I has meowed by the front door. I has meowed at the cupboards. I has meowed at the chairs. I has meowed at the table. I has meowed in every room. I has meowed lots of times at my hooman. He has tried to meow back, but his accent is awful and he makes too many grammatical errors. I is very chatty today.
Read more

Therapy for hooman

Image
I think it's important for us cats to help our hoomans out. We need to keep them healthy, after all — so they can feed us and give us essential ear scritches. So I try to keep my hooman in good shape, both mentally and physically. Okay, I don't really help him physically, other than making him chase me when he tries to put me in the box to take me to the catty doctor. I do try to help him mentally though. I do this by offering therapy, in the form of... - Soothing purrs - Slow blinks - Being cute - Sitting on him, which makes him all warm - Allowing him to stroke me - Letting him bury his hand in my soft belly fluff This last one is very important. If my hooman is having a tough day, and making lots of huffing and puffing sounds, I find that allowing him to stroke my belly fur instantly soothes him. I just hope he appreciates how much I do for him.    
Read more