Furball Frankie

I think my hooman is getting ready to rearrange our napping quarters again. I saw him take down the big sheet from where it'd been hanging - then he put it down on the big, long, soft chair. This was my chance. I jumped up to where the sheet was and sniffed it. It smelt too clean. It also lacked fur. I turned around a few times, got comfy, and curled up on it. I needs to make sure it smells of me...and has a little fur on it. My hooman came into the room and said 'Frankie - that's clean!' I blinked at him. Then I yawned. Then I cleaned my feets.

How has this happened again, already? How is it nearly Monday? I'm sure I simply did a slow blink on Friday evening and we arrived where we are now. I has had the whole weekend with my hooman, and now he'll be gone tomorrow. And I has so much to do this week. I has to re-scent all of the chairs, by rubbing against them. I has to revisit all of the cupboards, to decide which is the darkest and cosiest. I has to stare out of the window and chatter at squirrels. I has to get at least 80 hours of naps in. I has to claw all the soft things. The list just goes on and on. Such is catty life - just have to meow and get on with it.

I has found a new spot. I knew about it already, but hadn't fully explored it. But I could climb into it earlier, so I did. I had sniffs, moved around a bit, then settled down. It's a nice cupboard, hidden away. It's warm and it's dark. And my hooman doesn't know I'm here. I can hide from him when he says 'Frankiiiiiiiiiiiie!' in a high voice, or when he comes looking for me, to do a 'mwah' on my little head. I has a peaceful. I will stay here for a while.

I has a complaint to make, about my hooman. He leaves too much stuff everywhere. He leaves it on our bed. He leaves it on top of the drawers. He leaves it in his food room. And he leaves it on my favourite sitting spot - the table (where I sit next to him when he does werk). This doesn't allow enough space to put my fluffy bum and gather all my feets together neatly. Everything is too cluttered. Messy hooman. I has meowed in protest. I hope he takes my warning on board. Otherwise I'll have to start pushing things onto the floor...

I is not happy. Or, at least...I think I'm not happy. My hooman has put something up on the wall, in our napping quarters. It's a picture of a black cat, with a very floofy face. I knows what I looks like as I has seen myself in those things hoomans pose in front of. So now I has to ask: is my hooman mocking me? I feel he might be. I now has a grump grump. I'm going to sleep in the most inconvenient position possible on the bed.

It is a cold day. The perfect day to flomp on the bed. The perfect day to flomp on the bed alongside my hooman. The perfect day to lay next to him and benefit from double warms - my warms and his warms. The perfect day to be all snuggled up. Blinks. Purrs.

My hooman is very good at creating new napping spots for me, I must admit. I has found one for today and I shall stay here for a while. It's in a special basket, and it's made of softs. The softs smell like my hooman. This is nice, but they need more of a catty scent. They also need added fur - they're very much lacking in this. My hooman came in, huffed, and said something about 'needing to do the washing', but I yawned at him and he went away. Think I'll stay here 'til it gets dark, then have some biscuits.

I has had lots of energy today - lots of zoomies! And when I has energy, I likes to catch my hooman by surprise. I sneaks up behind him, crouches on my back feets, then launches myself upwards... and lands on his shoulders. From here, I can walk backwards and forwards, purr in my hooman's ear, and give him catty headbutts to the face. Sometimes he says 'Frankie - you great lump', but I ignores him and keeps purring. Then he'll reach back and give me ear and head scritches. I has a happy. If he straightens up a bit, it becomes hard to stay on his shoulders...then I has to jump down. But I often come back later for more hooman shoulder surfing. It's fun.

Today, I had many important jobs to do. I walked from room to room. I meowed to whoever cared to listen. I made sure that my wee tray contents were evenly scattered throughout the big, main room. I shredded the edges of the soft chair. I tested the crunchiness of my biscuits. But my main job was to oversee my hooman - to make sure he did his 'werk' all day. This is even more important than all my other jobs. From what I understand, my hooman has to werk so that I has plenty of foods and warms. This is essential. So I watched over him, and occasionally gave him meows of encouragement. Werk, hooman - I has a hungry.

I has been furiously trying to wash myself today, but I has found it hard. I has found it hard because I couldn't organise my feets properly. I tried to stand on my front feets, stick one of my back feets out towards the front, and lift the other one up. But it was very difficult and I got my feets in a muddle. I has managed to clean half my tail and a little bit of my side, but it was very stressful. Then my hooman came in and gave me ear scritches, and I got distracted. I'll have to try to go back to it later. Hoomans don't realise how hard it is to wash properly.

My hooman came over to give me belly rubs and chin scritches. This was nice. I had a happy. Then he gave me some ear scritches. Then he came back to my chin. And I decided that I was so relaxed that I'd do a chin flomp and just rest it on his hand. I couldn't be bothered to keep my head up any more - it was too much effort - and this was a nice, comfy place to put it. My hooman said 'What are you doing Frankie? Don't be so lazy'. I blinked at him and kept resting my chin. I expected my hooman to stay in this position forever, but he moved... so I had no choice but to lay down and let the bed support me.

I has realised something today. Tomorrow I will have been with my hooman for exactly seven catty years... which, I believe, is one hooman year. This means it is our cattiversary. It seems so long ago that he came to pick me up and took me back home, in his vroom. I has learned, in this time, that he is a very silly hooman, very squishy to sit on, and that he gives very good head scritches and chin tickles. I think I has a happy, being with him. I will celebrate by sitting on his head at 3am.

I has a happy today. The sun is shining, and it feels like warmer days might be coming. So, I has taken up my position on the window sill, to bask in a sunbeam. I has closed my eyes to enjoy the full effect of that sunbeam. My human came over, so I gave him a 'Hello' meow, and he told me I look 'very handsome'. I think this means I look good. I feels good. I think lady cats would appeciate me overseeing my kingdom from the window sill. I shall sit here a while longer, and bask. Happy.    

I was very busy earlier. My hooman came home with lots of bags. I could smell foods, so I followed him into the food room so that I could have sniffs. I checked all of the bags, but none of them smelt of anything that I fancied eating. After that, I decided to carry out a more thorough inspection of the food room. I jumped up onto the higher surfaces for a look around. I was searching for any foods that my hooman may have left behind or dropped. I had sniffs of one side and found nothing... so I went over to the other side. I had sniffs of that side and found one crumb, which smelt vaguely meaty, so I ate it. Then I jumped down. Another inspection will take place tomorrow.