Furball Frankie

Today has been a day for thinking. A day for deep reflection. A day for pondering. After a nap, some biscuits, and a wash, I went to my favourite window sill. I sat. I watched the squirrels. I swished my tail. I considered all those poor creatures with lesser tails than mine. I thought about those who live in trees and where they sleep at night. I thought about chicken. I thought about ham. I thought about whether the red dot ever gets a chance to rest. I wondered where my hooman takes my poo to. I chattered at a robin. It's good to practice meowndfulness.

Hooman is typing. Hooman pauses. Hooman looks up. Now? Hooman starts typing again. Hooman makes a huffing noise. Hooman scratches his face. Hooman sticks his finger in his nose. Now? Hooman returns to typing. Hooman eats something. Hooman writes something down. Hooman moves his legs. Hooman looks at phone. Hooman looks at me. Hooman says 'Hi Frankie', strokes my head, and gives me ear scritches. Better.    

I was having a wander last night. I was bored. I went to see where my hooman was. Now I want to make it perfectly clear — I am not, I repeat, NOT...a lap cat. It's not my thing. I has far too much pride. But my hooman did look nice, and squishy, and soft, and warm. So I jumped up onto the big, long, soft chair to join him. I stepped onto his legs. I had sniffs. Yup - this would do. I turned around five times, then felt it was time to settle. I settled in his lap. It was warm. I got lots of fuss and had a mini-nap. I hope my hooman doesn't get used to it though — it won't be happening often.    

I has an extra cute today. I knows this. So I went and found my hooman. He was sitting on the big, long, soft chair. He was watching the big, bright screen. I felt I should have attention. I sat in front of him and stared at him. I was demanding pets. A minimum of 5 head strokes and 6 ear scritches. I kept staring. I let out a little mrrrrp. I let out a squeaky meow. My hooman said 'Okay then, fluffy chops'. Then he gave me lots of head strokes, oodles of ear scritches, and some chin rubs. This was good, but not enough. I stayed where I was and stared at him again...            

For dinner I was hungry. My hooman put out food, while I jumped up and headbutted his hands. He put it out. I had sniffs. Duck! I tucked in. Munch, munch, munch, munch. When I finished, I washed my front feets so they smelt of duck. Then I had a hungry again. Time for pudding! There was a big bowl of chicken biscuits, so I moved on to this. After I was finished, I was full up. I meowed my satisfaction, then went for a nap.

I know when a catty poo is coming. I feels all heavy. I has a lethargic. I is sluggish. So I make my way over to my poo tray, then I dig, dig, dig...to find a comfy spot. Then I poo. Often my hooman looks over at me, so I avoid eye contact - the weirdo. Then I finish my poo, and... I run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. I feels 10,000 pounds lighter, so I keep running. Then I stop and wash my paws.

Every so often, I undertakes essential kitty duties in my home. Today was one of those times. I decided to inspect my hooman's food room. It was fairly routine. Flooring - standard. Worth a sniff. Some stray scraps here and there. Corners - not quite dark or cosy enough for my liking. Upper surfaces - quite a jump up. Ample walking space, but a bit dull. Something in a pot which made me sneeze. Sink area - some left over milk, in a bowl, which I lapped up. Cupboards - decent size. Can fit a whole cat. Drawers - access to the back area, leading into the cupboards. A bit too full of stuff to sit in properly. 2 stars out of 5. Must do better.  

Hooman! It's been 47 million minutes since I last looked in here. Anything could've happened. Anything could be happening right now! Fairies and pixies could be flying around, ready to be swatted. There could be all sorts of shadows to chase. Maybe there are new, magical meeces scurrying about. Maybe there are red dots to catch. Let me in. Now!    

I has a brand new napping spot. It gives me total peace and quiet. I is hidden from my hooman. It's warm. It's dark. It's cosy. It's my best discovery so far this year. I just need to make sure I don't get shut in. I don't want to wee or poo in here. Happy.

I has a cosy. I has a purr. And my hooman has done something odd. He's laid his smarts out on our bed. This means he's going somewhere. It also means he'll look like a hooge penguin. Silly hooman.

I was having a wash. I was having a good old wash. I was getting to my front feets, then moving to my side, when my hooman walked in. He tried to stroke my head. I didn't want this. He tried ear scritches. I didn't want this. I let out a long meow, to tell him to go away. This was private time. He needs to respect that.

I has a suspicious. I has a sad. My hooman has done something I've seen him do before. He's put his clothes on the bed. He only does this when he's going somewhere the next morning. I don't like this. We've had 12 days of cuddles. We've had 12 days of warms, belly rubs, and snacks on demand. I don't want him to go anywhere tomorrow. He makes a nice pillow.

I has been thinking. I has been thinking what I wants from the year ahead. Ham. I mainly want ham. But I'd also quite like more catnip. And belly rubs. And chin rubs. And ear scritches. And naps. And things to chase. And my soft, warm hooman nearby - to nap on. That's a lot. It's going to be a big year.

It's been a nice few days. My hooman has been around lots. And best of all, he's been eating lots. This means that not only is he made of warms, but he also becomes more squishy. This makes him very comfortable to sit and lie down on. The more he eats, the more he becomes like a big, comfy bed. I is laying down on him more and more. I think he might be more comfy than our actual napping quarters. Keep eating, hooman - my comfort depends on it.    

My hooman has been around a lot today - being very lazy...just sitting and napping in lots of different places. He's also been eating lots...lots and lots and lots. He's been having his hooman snacks. But some of them are very sniffable, and very tasty. I sat patiently while he put them all out. Then I assessed them all. Then I stared at my hooman while he decided to do the right thing. Then I meowed my need for some of those snacks. He gave me hams...then some more hams...then some more hams. I has a happy. I hope my hooman has more lazy days.