Furball Frankie

I always make sure my hooman is well aware when I has a hungry. That way he puts food out for me on time. But it's not just a case of him putting food in my bowl. I need company when I eat too. I need him to stay with me. Sometimes he puts my food out, then wanders away somewhere. I then have to leave my bowl, find him, meow at him until he follows me, and lead him back to my bowl. After that, I make sure he stands by me while I munch. I also prefer it if he strokes my back - it makes me happy. I have to look up regularly, to make sure he's still with me. Without my hooman present, I cannot eat.    

It's very important that my hooman (and others who approach him) knows where he stands. It's very important he knows who he belongs to. This is precisely the reason that when he hops onto the bed to give me fuss and cuddles, I scent mark him. If he gets his face close to mine, I rubs my cheek on his cheeks and nose - both sides. This means he smells of me. It says 'Property of Frankie'. If any cat, or hooman, should go up to my hooman and sniff his face, they'll know he's mine. I hope he understands how honoured he is to smell of me.

I has had nice naps on the bed today. Occasionally my hooman has popped in and given me ear scritches and chin rubs. It's been nice. It'd been a while since I last saw him, then I heard him coming into the room. I decided to greet him with a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuull stretch. This gave him complete access to my fluffy belly. I let out a cute 'mrrrrrp', so he knew what he had to do. I got a full, 2-minute belly rub. Heaven. I has a happy.

Today I has sits. Today I thinks. Why aren't all animal ears triangles? It's the best shape for hearing things all around you. Why are hooman ears all weird and round, and on the side of the head? I never see the chicken go into my biscuits — how does it get there? What does my hooman do with all my poo? Where does he take it? Why do some hoomans paint their claws silly colours? Why does it only rain indoors in one room in my home — in the weird, cubicle thing? How does my hooman cope with such little napping time? Why don't all animals meow? It'd be much easier if we all spoke the same language. My hooman tries to meow, but he gets his words muddled up and his accent is terrible. Why do spiders have eight legs? Surely that's too many. Why don't hoomans ever seem to get zoomies? It's a confusing world. I think I'll have another nap.

It is important to keep up certain catty standards - not just for me, but for all of catkind. I is a distinguished kitty. Therefore, I like to show my class whenever I can. I extend this to napping. I has to show that I is a gentlecat - aware of kitty etiquette. So, when I nap - or even just sit in a loaf position - I do so properly. I cross my little kitty feets. I remind myself that I must be very demure, very meowful. In this way, I represent all cats as I should.

I woke up from a nap and found my hooman wasn't next to me any more. I got up, stretched my front feets, stretched my back feets, then went to look for him. I found him in our napping quarters, on our bed. He was staring intensely at something. He was reading. I meowed at him, but he didn't look up. I gave him soft catty headbutts to the face. I pawed at what he was reading. I wasn't getting the full attention I deserved...so I sat on what he was reading. I now had his full attention. I got head pats and ear scritches. I stayed in the same spot. My hooman should know - I'm much more important than any reading.