Furball Frankie

I has been thinking. I has been thinking what I wants from the year ahead. Ham. I mainly want ham. But I'd also quite like more catnip. And belly rubs. And chin rubs. And ear scritches. And naps. And things to chase. And my soft, warm hooman nearby - to nap on. That's a lot. It's going to be a big year.

It's been a nice few days. My hooman has been around lots. And best of all, he's been eating lots. This means that not only is he made of warms, but he also becomes more squishy. This makes him very comfortable to sit and lie down on. The more he eats, the more he becomes like a big, comfy bed. I is laying down on him more and more. I think he might be more comfy than our actual napping quarters. Keep eating, hooman - my comfort depends on it.    

My hooman has been around a lot today - being very lazy...just sitting and napping in lots of different places. He's also been eating lots...lots and lots and lots. He's been having his hooman snacks. But some of them are very sniffable, and very tasty. I sat patiently while he put them all out. Then I assessed them all. Then I stared at my hooman while he decided to do the right thing. Then I meowed my need for some of those snacks. He gave me hams...then some more hams...then some more hams. I has a happy. I hope my hooman has more lazy days.

I has been pretty much perfect all year - the ideal feline. But I suppose I could improve one or two things. I has heard my hooman talk about 'rezolooshuns' - doing good things next year. With this in mind, I decided to set some goals for myself. So... I vow to be even cuter – not sure if this is possible. I vow to sniff more things. I vow to find more catnip. I vow to chat more with my hooman – his pronunciation of ‘meow’ needs work. I vow to keep him company, by sitting on whatever he’s looking at. I vow to spread my litter evenly throughout our home. I vow to get at least 7 belly rubs per day. I vow to catch the red dot. I vow to nap more. I vow to sleep on top of my hooman more. I vow to increase the speed of my laps around our home. I vow to get more fur on things. I vow to eat more snacks. I vow to wash more – keeping my fur nice and shiny. It seems like a lot, but I'm sure I'll manage it. Or, if I don't, I'll ju...

It happened again...only this time it wasn't just on some socks. My hooman opened a draw and said 'Merry Christmas', then threw a furry thing at me, which had a little feather tail. I thought I smelt good stuff. I got closer to the furry thing. I did smell good stuff! Catty drugs! I had a happy! I sniffed it. I licked it. I bit it. I clawed it. I rolled around on it. I bunny-kicked it. I rubbed my face on it. Drug, drugs, drugs!

I has a confused. I is on high alert. In our napping quarters I spotted something: lots of scratchy things on the walls. Bugs? They must be caught. I must pounce on them. I must defend my honour...and protect my hooman. I has jumped up at them. I has swiped at them. I has clawed them. I hasn't caught one yet. But I will. I'm biding my time.