Furball Frankie

I know when a catty poo is coming. I feels all heavy. I has a lethargic. I is sluggish. So I make my way over to my poo tray, then I dig, dig, dig...to find a comfy spot. Then I poo. Often my hooman looks over at me, so I avoid eye contact - the weirdo. Then I finish my poo, and... I run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. Run, run, run, run. I feels 10,000 pounds lighter, so I keep running. Then I stop and wash my paws.

Every so often, I undertakes essential kitty duties in my home. Today was one of those times. I decided to inspect my hooman's food room. It was fairly routine. Flooring - standard. Worth a sniff. Some stray scraps here and there. Corners - not quite dark or cosy enough for my liking. Upper surfaces - quite a jump up. Ample walking space, but a bit dull. Something in a pot which made me sneeze. Sink area - some left over milk, in a bowl, which I lapped up. Cupboards - decent size. Can fit a whole cat. Drawers - access to the back area, leading into the cupboards. A bit too full of stuff to sit in properly. 2 stars out of 5. Must do better.  

Hooman! It's been 47 million minutes since I last looked in here. Anything could've happened. Anything could be happening right now! Fairies and pixies could be flying around, ready to be swatted. There could be all sorts of shadows to chase. Maybe there are new, magical meeces scurrying about. Maybe there are red dots to catch. Let me in. Now!    

I has a brand new napping spot. It gives me total peace and quiet. I is hidden from my hooman. It's warm. It's dark. It's cosy. It's my best discovery so far this year. I just need to make sure I don't get shut in. I don't want to wee or poo in here. Happy.

I has a cosy. I has a purr. And my hooman has done something odd. He's laid his smarts out on our bed. This means he's going somewhere. It also means he'll look like a hooge penguin. Silly hooman.

I was having a wash. I was having a good old wash. I was getting to my front feets, then moving to my side, when my hooman walked in. He tried to stroke my head. I didn't want this. He tried ear scritches. I didn't want this. I let out a long meow, to tell him to go away. This was private time. He needs to respect that.