Posts

Lumpy and Noisy

Image
The things I has to go through as a cat... I likes to settle down with my hooman in our napping quarters as it gets late. Sometimes he gets into the bed and I walk around until I find a comfy spot. Other times I already has a comfy spot and he has to find a way to sleep around me. This is the way it should be; my napping spot first, hooman's napping spot second. But he can be difficult to sleep near. Firstly, he wriggles a lot. And he's very lumpy. His feets can cause problems. He's also very noisy. He opens his mouth and makes a lonnnnnnnnnng snorting sound. It's very annoying. It makes the walls rattle. I try to fold down my little catty ears to ignore it. He makes other sounds though - from his bottom. Sometimes it's a 'parp'. Other times it's a loud 'pthbthbthb' sound. And occasionally he says actual words out loud. Nothing that makes any sense - just random stuff. I don't know why he does all of this. I make no sound at all...unless he w...
Post a Comment
Read more

I'm a pure cat

Image
I need to squash the rumours. I likes to sit in sunbeams. They're nice and they warm my fur. But...something happens when I'm sat in sunbeams. My coat may...I repeat, may...go a slightly different colour. It sometimes shows up as kind of red-ish - some would say ginger. But I want to make it absolutely clear - I'm not a ginger cat. I has more than one brain cell for a start. I am a 100% black cat. Not a Bombay, or anything fancy like that. Just a pure black standard moggy - going all the way back to my great great great great great great grandcat. This is not up for debate. I is a pure mini-panther, no matter what the sun shows.
Post a Comment
Read more

Catty side eye

Image
Hoomans is sneaky. I include my own hooman in this, even though I quite like him. They can sneak up on you any time...particularly during naps, which they apparently find 'cute'. This is why it pays to use a bit of catty side eye, alongside super catty hearing, just to be sure when a hooman is coming. It's very important. Otherwise, you'll be peacefully napping when...your hooman comes along and sticks their face in your belly fur, waking you up, startled. Or they'll come along and ruffle your head and your ears, which requires catty head shakes, to sort the confusion. They may even come up and start giving you unwanted kisses on your little head. Or, worse still, they'll pick you up and kiss you all over, leaving you completely baffled. So...I always keep one eye out for my hooman. I never know when he's coming or what he's got planned.
Post a Comment
Read more

Full inspection

Image
I likes to look after my hooman. This includes full inspections of the rooms in our home from time to time. Yesterday I conducted a full inspection of his food room. The floor is a bit messy right now, but smelt okay. Sadly there were no stray scraps of food. The lower cupboards smelt okay from the outside. I meowed for access to the inside. Everything seemed in order. Bit of a musty smell. Had to lick a couple of bowls. Then I hopped up to the upper surface. It was a bit gritty under my paws - needs a wipe. Window area is a bit grubby. Faint smell of chicken but no actual chicken. Good height at which to receive ear scritches. Sink area was a bit cold underfoot. Overall, I'd give a rating of 3/5. Could do better, hooman.
Post a Comment
Read more

Important part

Image
All parts of me is important. But I think the most important part of me is on my face: my nose. I use it for sniffs. I sniffs furniture to make sure it has my catty scent. I sniffs doorframes for the same reason. I checks all bags that come into my home. I checks that my wee tray is clean. And I checks that all bedding has the right scent before napping on it. But... I also use my nose for all-important nose nudges. I likes to nose nudge my hooman for attention. I likes to nose nudge his hand when he's giving me good fuss. I Iikes to nose nudge his hand when he comes in and I need foods. And I likes to nose nudge him in the face, to say 'I kind of like you, hooman'. Yup - my little catty nose is essential.
Post a Comment
Read more

Too much hooman

Image
I likes my hooman. I likes him quite a bit. But I has my limits. He's been around a lot over the last few days. This has meant plenty of belly rubs, ear scritches, head pats, chin tickles, and snacks. But... It's also meant lots of him running into rooms and saying 'Hiiiiiiiiii!' in a really high-pitched voice...or talking nonsense, like; 'Who's a gorgeousy worgeously schmoopie doopie floople?' On top of this, he also runs into rooms and gives me kisses on the head, before I even has time to react. And he smooshes my face between his hands. And he rubs my head so much that I has a confused and has to do a catty headshake. It's all too much. It's time for him to go back to what he was doing. It's time for him to return to 'the werk'. Then we can go back to normal amounts of fuss.
Post a Comment
Read more

Mid-wash

Image
I likes to keep clean. It's important. I has dignity. I has regular washes. I usually does my body first, then my feets. I'd got to my feets earlier, and was working on my back feets. I was nearly done. Then my hooman came into the room and shouted 'Frankiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!' He ruffled my head. I stared at him. Then he started touching my feets. Why? Idiot. I gave him a bunny kick. Then I had to clean those feets all over again. So annoying.
Post a Comment
Read more