Furball Frankie

I likes belly rubs as much as the next cat. They're fun and warm, as long as the hooman doesn't give too many - then we bite. I likes to give maximum exposure. This means equal rubs on the the right side, and equal rubs on the left side. I find that if I roll from side to side, I can achieve this. My hooman is very obliging too. It's a good system and it works.

The hooman and I often has similar tastes. We often does similar things. Although he doesn't poo in a box. We has found harmony in one spot in our latest house. We both like to relax and 'werk' (well, I stretch lots) on the one bench. Hooman will sit on the flat bit, then he'll put cushions out - I'll relax on them. It helps him for me to oversee his 'werk'. It helps me to receive head pat and ear scritches. It's our little seat together.

Hooman was getting ready before. Ready to go out. I know this because he put something extra warm on his top half, jangled his keys, but also got his feets covers ready. This means he is going to be a little while. I meowed my protests - I wanted more head scritches. But he started putting his feets covers on. I wound between his legs and meowed some more. I dropped my keys and said 'Stop it, Frankie, I'll be back soon'. I gave him head scritches, said 'I love you, I'll be back soon, be a good boy' Then he was gone. I licked my front paws, then vowed to do a stinky poo so he had something to do when he got back.

There is something I loves to do...especially when I has a happy. I like to go find my hooman, and sit next to him. Then I get my front feets and pushes up and down on a soft service (a bed, cushions, whatever is there). I push them down one after the other, combined with a happy purr. My human often says 'Frankie! You making biscuits?' No, idiot - I is making a happy. Sometimes I like to be petted on the head while doing my dance. Sometimes I like to be left alone. Dances can last 30 seconds or they can last 5 minutes. Depends how happy I am. It also depends if my hooman disturbs me too much during that time. Happy catty dances are fun. They don't happen all the time, but when they do, be assured that I'm a happy kitty.

Everything in my house is too senstive for my little catty nose today. My hooman's shoes are too stinky. The litter tray needs changing. The bathroom smelt of a strange gel or cream hooman had used. The milk in his cereal didn't quite smell right. Even my fur had an odd smell. I found a non-stinky part of the bed to lie down on. I has raised my concerns with the authorities - let's see what will be done. At the very least, those shoes need to go.

My hooman came home with a big plastic bag and said 'Look, Frankie - fresh sheets!' I wasn't sure what this was but it wasn't ham, as I sniffed it. He took it up to our napping quarters. I stuck my head in the bag and hooman said 'Not yet, Frankie'. He pulled out some rectangular sheets and stuffed things into them. I carried on sniffing inside the bag. There was a bigger sheet, so I pawed at it. 'Yes, that's next', said hooman. He flapped this sheet a lot and made huffing and puffing sounds. Then he got a bigger, heavier sheet and stuck in on the floor. I sat on it. 'That's not helpful', said hooman. He lifted me off and I yowled in protest. He then started stuffing a giant puffy thing into this heavier sheet, then shaking it out. Then he lay it down on the bed, said 'done', and lay on top of it. I joined him, for ear scritches.